Malibu beach-house regulars, scene-stealing exes and a housekeeper with zero patience. Somebody here delivered the sharpest one-liners of the show's twelve seasons.
1Charlie HarperHedonistic jingle writer played by Charlie Sheen across the first eight seasons.1000pts
2BertaSharp-tongued housekeeper who rules the beach house, played by Conchata Ferrell.943pts
3Alan HarperCharlie's neurotic, freeloading chiropractor brother, played by Jon Cryer in all 12 seasons.840pts
4JennyCharlie's long-lost lesbian daughter who moves in during the later seasons, played by Amber Tamblyn.600pts
5RoseCharlie's obsessive stalker neighbour, played by Melanie Lynskey.466pts
6Herb MelnickJudith's goofy pediatrician husband, played by Ryan Stiles.466pts
7Jake HarperAlan's lazy, food-loving son and the 'half' of the title, played by Angus T. Jones.466pts
8Walden SchmidtHeartbroken internet billionaire who buys the beach house, played by Ashton Kutcher.466pts
9Evelyn HarperThe brothers' cold, glamorous realtor mother, played by Holland Taylor.0pts
10KandiAlan's ditzy second wife who later finds Hollywood fame, played by April Bowlby.0pts
11Lyndsey McElroyAlan's on-and-off girlfriend whose house he once burned down, played by Courtney Thorne-Smith.0pts
Photo credits
- Charlie Harper — Angela George at https://www.flickr.com/photos/sharongraphics/, CC BY-SA 3.0
- Alan Harper — Angela George, CC BY-SA 3.0
- Jenny — PhilipRomanoPhoto, CC BY-SA 4.0
- Rose — Kevin Paul, CC BY 4.0
- Herb Melnick — Matthew G, CC BY-SA 3.0
- Jake Harper — Angela George, CC BY-SA 3.0
- Evelyn Harper — Harry Langdon Studio, CC BY 3.0
- Kandi — Photo by Glenn Francis, CC BY-SA 3.0
- Lyndsey McElroy — Anne M, CC BY-SA 2.0
